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الحبّ أعظم نعمة في الوجود

الحبّ أعظم نعمة في الوجود ..

كنت أحب حماتي جداً ..
يرحمها الله ..
كانت امرأة عاقلة، فاضلة، حباها الله بالحكمة ورجاحة الفكر
كانت تتمتّع بشخصية قوية، وإرادة لا تلين، وقوة تحمّل عالية
(وانا أحب المرأة ذات الشخصية القوية، أحبها وأحترمها)
طاقتها علي الحب وسعتنا كلنا
دون تفرقة، نحن كثيرون، كانت تعرف كيف تهتم وترعي الكل
والأهم أنها -يرحمها الله- كانت مستمعة جيدة جداً ..
وقع في قلبي حبها منذ رأيتُها، وكانت توصيني ألا أتحدث عنها
أمام الناس حتي لا يحسدونا !
فالموروث الثقافي المَعيب الفاسد، أن الحماة مكروهة، والعياذ بالله !
وكان معظم معارفنا لا يصدّقون أننا نحب بعضنا، وبيفتكرونا بنمثّل !
لذلك كانت تخاف من حسد أصحاب النفوس المريضة ..
عيبها انها كانت تخاف من الحسد !

أما لِمَ أذكر لكم كل هذا ؟
فلأن أكبر وأهم دعوة دعتها حماتي (المرأة الصوّامة القوّامة العابدة)
كانت : “ربنا يفرّح قلبك بأولادك وبناتك يا حبيبتي” ..
أحلي دعوة و أرق دعوة، كانت معطاءة، ولذا أدركت قيمة العطاء
وتيقّنت من مكافأة رب العالمين لمن أفنوا أعمارهم من أجل أبنائهم
في إخلاص وصدق وصمت وتفاني، لا يبتغون إلا وجه الله تعالي ..
وقد أنعم الله عليّ، وتحققت تلك الدعوة الصادقة ..
فالحمد لله حمداً كثيراً طيباً مباركاً، وبنعمة الله فافرحوا ..
اثنتان كانا سيزيدانا فرحاً علي فرحنا :
أمي .. وحماتي
ربِ ارحمهما، واجعل مثواهما الجنة،
وارحمنا إذا صرنا لما صارا إليه ..

ما خلقنا الله إلا ليمتعنا بكرمه وإنعامه، ولكنا غافلون
ما خلقنا الله إلا لأنه يحبنّا .. الله يحبّنا، الله يستحقّ حبنا
ولذا فأنا أحبكم في الله، ولا أطلب سوي الدعاء الجميل :
“أحبكِ الذي أحببتنا فيه”
فهل هذا كثير ؟

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2012 in Miscellaneous, Relationships

 

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My precious daughter’s getting married ..

My precious “Amena” is getting married !

My baby’s getting married; We had made it through Kindergarten, first grade, into middle school, slid into high school and onto college, enjoyed God’s blessings, survived heartbreaks & disappointments; and suddenly with practically no warning, she’s this gorgeous grown woman, starting a life of her own !….the reality of it is overwhelming, my eyes sometimes fill with tears
but I’m not actually sure that the full force of it hit me “yet” !

I feel as though she’s going to grow wings and fly as I watch her. I have absolutely no idea how this is about to happen or how the time went so quickly. When you’re in the thick of it, you think they’ll be kids forever, and suddenly they aren’t kids anymore, they are whole people with their own ideas and dreams and goals, and you are the second skin they shed as they fly past you.
I suppose our kids will always need us in one form or another ..
I kept wondering to figure out how it all went so quickly…..when did she slip from childhood into womanhood, when did she become a grown up ?!

Life passes in a blur, while you’re washing the bathtub, folding the laundry, driving car pool, or cleaning out your closets. It zips by you,when you take a child to buy a new pair of sneakers, or wonder if they’ll ever clean up their room or will it just be a mess forever.
And suddenly you are faced with a woman ..
, a woman who is accomplished, who has met her goals, done what she set out to do, and done it well. I take no credit for her accomplishments, she did it all herself. And I have just been so very lucky to be standing next to her for all these years, loving her, and being proud of her and cheering her on. And maybe one day I’ll figure out how it all went so fast, and in the meantime, I’m just so glad that with all her accomplishments, she still giggles, can still act like a kid sometimes ..
I always preferred to carry on duties & responsibilities, to make all of my kids as happy, content & comfortable as I could ..
Now can she really do it completely on her own ?!
This is indeed a landmark moment,
She’s the apple of my eyes .. And the fact is : she’s leaving me !
Can she do that ? Can I survive & overcome that ?
How -in God’s name- will I take it ?!
Yes it’s -her being away- going to be painful & heart-breaking,
Yet the same if she’d spend her life without having & enjoying the magnificent blessings of loving & be loved, having kids, building “her” whole new life ..

Well then, if it’ll make her happier, more fufilled,
if it adds more valuable meanings to her life ..
Then it’s worth all sufferings & pains;
that may even turn to comfort, peace of mind just knowing she’s alright ..

Now, I’m faced with the truth that these are phases we all go through,
Or different roles we try to perform,
I pray to God -the Almighty- to give me hope & strength to go on;
To fill my heart with belief & love ..

Actually I am soooo proud of my lovely daughter …
And she’ll find me whenever she needs me,
Amena …
I’ll always be there for you baby -InshaAllah-

( These are in fact NOT “fully” my words, these are my favourite novelist Danielle Steel’s feelings at the graduation of her youngest daughter !
Yet as much as I like her, this was the exact words that I do feel while preparing for my eldest daughter’s wedding -Insha-Allah-
I only had to ommit or add some words & phrases of my own to better suit my greatest event ..
I think not only me but also nearly every mother will get the impression that the famous writer speaks on “her” behalf !!! )

D.S. Has all the credit, I’m just being “picky”
The Graduate; Published on May 29, 2012

P.S. The last three paragraphs are all mine ..

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2012 in Relationships

 

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” HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR MATE ” (2/2)

Out of Mood ………….. How to choose your mate 2/2
by Hala Kamal on Friday, 22 April 2011 at 23:46 ·

6 – If there’s one thing that makes the difference among life-long lovers , a person who has the ability to learn, there’s a saying in spanish: ” ignorante’ spoko tolerante’ ” it means those who are without knowledge are often intolerant, those who can not know or learn new ways, seek things in new lights , be able to be curious about the world & how things work , often close up & say: no… things have to be this & that way only and for life-long relationships, it’s better to have someone who doesn’t lack flexibility or open-mindedness, gradually learning to evolve…

7 – Choose someone who’s willing to be like you both strong & sensitive those qualities that women have sometimes: being tough and fragile, tough on one side and fragile on the other.
They can take huge loads but they may fall apart over some things that are really small and simple.
It’s somehow like a tree, deep rooted in the earth, it may go back and forth with the strong wind but it won’t bend or break. In terms of sensitivity, we mean the ability to see, to be alert towards each others’ feelings and needs of their minds as well as of their hearts.
Some people have problems articulating it, so (going back to number 6) is so important, as you know you may have all the potentials in the world, to be kind, loving, and devoted and the most excellent lover known to human kind, but if you can’t learn to develop your potential, then Nada (nothing).

8- Choose someone who has similar passions in life to your own. A relationship is for making memories together, like saving accounts. And you do things together, like taking snap shots and saving for later, this is the glue of a relationship. There grow memories, remembering good times together, but also going through hard times. A strong relationship most certainly is built on mutual support, sharing something simple as: lying in the bathtub together, something as drying your hair out in the sunshine together, like walking around the block every night.

9- Choose someone who can laugh at themselves in the midst of an argument, the value is not only having someone who can do it, but you yourself must know how and when to stop and make a joke, suddenly he or she responses and you may find yourselves laughing and crying altogether. It’s a real gift, it takes practice and it’s a skill.

10- Being able to overlook certain faults and characteristics, maybe something which was in the beginning nice and charming, may later on be unacceptable or drive you crazy.
So, know what you can live with and don’t be seduced by thinking that something really is annoying to other people but for you it’s ok, because you are in love, and he or she who does it, is your lover.
The case is if it’s a dramatic fault, you’ll never be able to accept it or cure it, for instance, several things that are intolerable in any relationship, whether it’s a marriage, business partnership or anything else…
Alcoholism, abuse of any kind, gambling, criminal activity, anything that takes the person away from his true self and life… a person cannot tell the truth, a person who cannot give loyalty or sincerity, a person who is used to make mistakes and always covers it up dramatically, thus you’d be starting the relationship on a shaking or unbalanced ground.

Hala Kamal
hala.kamal@gmail.com
22-4-2011

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2012 in Relationships

 

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” HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR MATE ” (1/2)

Out of Mood……..(1/2)
by Hala Kamal on Thursday, 21 April 2011 at 01:47 ·
I’m deeply concerned of all that may help our youth …. I was asked many times from teenagers ( my sons & daughters as well as their friends ) the same question over & over again , that is : ” HOW TO CHOOSE ONE’S MATE ” each time I used to mention variety of factors according to my beliefs & experiences …until one day I read a wonderful book , written by a wonderful lady ,
I was -still am- fascinated by the richness & sophistication of her style …

This awesome, magnificent lady is called : Clarissa Pincola Estees , she’s a poet , latino- activist , she’s the world winning author of ” the Women Who Run With Wolves ” , she’s senior psycho-analyst who has practiced & taught for 20 years as an artist & resident for the state of ” Colorado ” ,she also serves as a ” Contadora ” keeper of the old stories …..

Clarissa stated 10 important factors as guidelines for those who wish for a successful relationship …

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR MATE :

Needless to say that by using exactly the same word of the author , we here mean husband or wife …

1 – Close your eyes & see – as if you were blind – what you feel of that person , their kindness , insight , devotion,
their ability to be concerned with you , their ability to care for you & for themselves as independent beings.
Although our culture give more weight to what we see with open eyes , it’s far more important what we see with our eyes closed ….

2 – Choose someone who has similar values about life , work , money , family matters , having children & so forth ….you have to be able to see where the relationship is headed ..
Choosing of similar values has to do with decreasing the friction in a relationship , if there are different values , it should be worked out before there’s a long-term commitment to a relationship ..

3 – Choose the person who has an inner , fruitful life : fulfilling jobs , enjoyable hobbies , be it art , sport or meditation , most importantly doing something that they love …
someone who through his journey sees you as a partner , to have the ability to MERGE with one another & yet feel SEPARATE from one another , there are times to be merged as one being & other times you should part from one another, you might say that the bond between you is more like a flesh that goes out of you , be stretched & stretched for thousands of miles but never cut or broken , that’s the kind of relationship you need to have …Choose someone who makes your life richer , more valuable & worth-living …

4 – Choose someone , when you hurt them , they feel pain & they are willing to show it , & vise versa
someone , who when they hurt you , they see you & they feel sorry … there are many ways in which people portrait pain ..By expressing , we can be able to communicate …
It’s so bad when you do something hurting & cruel to your mate & he or she shows no reaction , this either means something’s wrong in their feeling function or that they have given up on you , that they no longer allow themselves to be fully human in your presence …. Many of us may have been wounded from a previous relationship … you start with high hopes , but somewhere along the way there’s failure & disappointment … so their ability to hurt their mate maybe over-grown , they should be able to stop when they see pain in the other’s face …

5 – Choose someone who’s compassionate , someone’s willing , able to listen .. someone who gives equal time, in particular if you are a ” driving person ” because by having a mate who ‘s not so quite as driven as you eventually , you’ll pick up some low rhythms of him – or her – which is sometimes good for you ….
There should be a harmony established , it takes time , sometimes 7 or 8 years building the miracle of establishing the so-called harmonic rhythm , thus they could say they found the profound meaning of love …………………………………………………………… ( to be continued )

Hala Kamal
20-4-2011

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2012 in Relationships

 

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